


I Just Wanna Survive

by Irregular_Psychic



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Christine is aroace, M/M, based on another fanfic i wrote called blue hydrangeas, but he cant realize his crush on michael, but this one starts at the very beginning of the musical, jeremy knows he's bi, squip's nice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 07:50:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21352762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irregular_Psychic/pseuds/Irregular_Psychic
Summary: All Jeremy wanted was to survive school. But after he noticed Christine Canigula's quirky and care-free attitude, maybe he wants more than that?He feels as if he isn't good enough yet for Christine so he takes a SQUIP who would supposedly improve his social status. During this, he contracts the Hanahaki disease.The primary suspect of this supposed unrequited love is Christine. But what if he finds out Christine would never romantically accept him?
Relationships: Christine Canigula & Jeremy Heere, Christine Canigula/Jeremy Heere, Jeremy Heere & Michael Mell, Jeremy Heere/Michael Mell
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	1. More Than Survive

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a very long time ago. I promised myself that I'd post it once all the chapters were done writing. Then I realized that was impossible so I'll just try to update this as I go! I've already got 2 chapters done so here they are!
> 
> Note that if you find any grammatical or factual errors, don't be shy to tell me in the comments so I can correct it! Anyways, I hope ya'll enjoy this!

Today's Monday, yet again. I can't believe the weekend went by so fast. I hadn't realized that it was time for school until the digital clock beside my bed started chiming. I grab the glasses on my computer desk and fixed them to my face.

I was in the middle of _checking my email _so I was quite annoyed to find out that I had to go back to the hellhole called Middle Borough Highschool again.

I pick up a stray blue cardigan from the floor of my bedroom which had a colorful array of whatever you could find in a teenage boy's bedroom, stray posters of games, a console from the 90's here and there and a couple of loose clothes spread across the miniature wasteland. I quickly pull a sleeve into my arm in a rush and hurriedly searched for a pair of clean jeans I could wear.

After I found a decent pair of jeans, I quickly slipped into it and ran downstairs with one side of my backpack slung over my right shoulder. I highly doubt that dad would drive me to school but he promised to so I didn't lose all hope until,

"Dad, haven't you heard of pants?" I asked, frustrated that Dad hadn't changed his clothes since last Thursday. Seriously, does this man even have a stable job anymore? I mean, he never comes to work and he just sends stuff to his boss on the computer. He surely could've been fired by now.

Dad was in a t-shirt and some boxers with a bathrobe over it. He was hunched over the dinner table, eating a bowl of corn flakes like a cereal gremlin.

"I don't go to work today, though." He reasoned.

_Yeah, right. Like you ever arrive at work anymore._

I decide not to say that since it would be insensitive and even if he isn't the best dad in the world, he has been trying his hardest ever since Linda left.

"But you promised to drive me to school today!" I said as a disappointed look filled my face.

_I shouldn't have kept my hopes up. He isn't gonna drive me to school today. I guess I should just call Michael so he can pick me up tomorrow...._

"Sorry, Jer. I'm just not up for it today, you understand, right?" He pleaded. Jeremy couldn't push the topic further since he loved his dad so much.

"Okay, Dad. But when I come back home, can you please be wearing pants?" I asked half-heartedly as I open the front door and close it behind me.

_Should I take the bus or walk_ _to school?_

I can already feel last night's pasta sloshing in my stomach as it filled with dread. I should try my best not to look nervous cuz my whole face goes red whenever that happens.

_A junior on a bus is super lame. But if I walk to school, I'd surely reek of sweat when I arrive at school._

I stopped deciding when the bus came up to the bus stop a few houses from where I was. I ran for it and managed to get in before it drove off.

I tried to look for Michael since he's basically my only friend at this school. I find him in front of the bus with his headphones on as Bob Marley faintly played.

"Hey, Micah, you there?" I asked playfully as I waved my hand in front his face.

"Oh, hey Jer. Didn't see you there." He replied as he took of his headphones and looked up at me. "Oh hey, that rhymes!" He chuckles to him as I position myself beside him.

This dork really is something. I still can't believe that this year would mark 12 years of our friendship. I still remember that day in 1st Grade...

Third Person's PoV:

_"_ _M-mom_ _! I don't _ _wa_ _-wanna_ _ go to school!" A tiny Jeremy squealed as his mom dragged him out of their car. "I-I heard there are _ _m-monsters_ _ there!"_

_"Jerry, of course there aren't. Don't you want to make friends?" She asked with a voice almost too sweet for Jeremy nowadays._

_"_ _B-but_ _..." Tiny Jeremy trailed off as he couldn't find any reason to pass the offer to make friends._

_"And here we are!" Linda announced joyfully before opening the door to the classroom._

_Jeremy saw many kids run around the room. A tiny _ _short-haired_ _ girl was busy scribbling stars and musical notes on her paper while another kid was busy in the hand puppet corner playing with a Kermit the Frog puppet._

_Maybe his mom was right? Maybe he could make at least one friend here._

_Nobody really stood out from the other since they were all equally unique and noisy but after he sat next to a small Filipino boy, he realized that this one was even more special._

_Tiny Michael started the conversation as tiny Jeremy was too nervous to say anything._

_"I like your hair! It looks fluffy! Kind of like my mom's hair!" He started as the tiny brunette listened attentively. Back then, Jeremy's hair was long and bushy. Nowadays, he actually brushed his hair if you don't count Mondays. "Your mom looked nice! Where's your other mom?"_

_"_ _W-what_ _?" Tiny Jeremy stuttered out._

_"Uh, your second mom?? Where is she? My moms both brought me here! Is your other mom busy?" He asked, confused with Jeremy's reaction._

_"I-i only have one mom." Jeremy whispered._

_"Aw, really? Your mom must get lonely sometimes!" Tiny Michael continued. He couldn't really shut up once he started saying something_._ He still has this habit to this day._

_"_ _N-no_ _. I have a dad too." Jeremy corrected him, looking at his desk for a few moments._

_"What's a dad?" Michael asked, oblivious to the fact that people usually had a mom and a dad._

_"Um... I... I don't know how to explain.." Jeremy trailed off as their teacher came into the room._

Jeremy snapped out of his trance as the whole bus stopped suddenly as the driver (who suspiciously looked like Mr. Reyes) stepped on the brake as the school's bus stop was reached. They all climbed down and went into the school.

Jeremy's PoV:

I reached for my locker when a couple of popular girls stood beside it having a conversation. I really didn't want to get involved since a loser like me and popular girls like them only meant trouble for me.

"Hey Chlo, I just think we should see other people." A dark boy wearing the school sports shirt underneath his bright yellow jacket hopped over to one of the girls named Chloe. This is Jake Dillinger. The most popular guy in school.

"Oh my gosh, I feel the exact same way!" Chloe turned to him with a very understanding but clearly faked face.

"O-okay then, bye Chlo!!" Jake hopped away with a basketball in hand, unable to see through Chloe's very obvious facade.

"You are so mature!" Brooke complimented the now very angry Chloe. Heh. Guess she couldn't keep it up for long.

"Brooke!" She spat as she slammed her own locker door in rage.

"I-i mean I hate him! I'm sorry, Chlo." Brooke apologized as well as downplaying Jake. I could see tears start forming in her eyes. Why does Brooke even put up with a bitch like Chloe? She's clearly very nice, but she follows wherever Chloe goes like a dog on a leash.

Honestly, I feel bad for her. But I can't do anything against Chloe. She's like the Queen Bee of this school. Mess with her and you're a laughing stock and a target for unseen shoves and getting locked in the boys' gym lockers.

Before I could put anymore thought into Chloe and Brooke's relationship, Chloe found me staring and shoved me aside with Brooke following her.

_What did I do to deserve this??_

Like the universe had somehow been making fun of me today, I bumped into Richard Goranski.

He wasn't that tall, I don't know if that's relevant, quite the contrary actually. Despite this, he's still one of the popular juniors at school. He also likes calling me tall ass even though I'm barely 3 inches taller than him. I don't mind though. He doesn't listen to me anyways.

"Watch where you're going, tall ass!" There goes the name-calling. He seriously wasn't that tall. Why does Rich call me that? Is it because I'm a few centimeters taller? By that logic, Rich should call everyone tall ass? Okay, nevermind, I'm getting sidetracked. Back to Rich insulting me.

Did Rich care that it was getting really uncreative and repetitive? No, he didn't.

"I-im sorry--" My apology was cut short when Rich took out a sharpie from his pocket and started holding me by my backpack. He had gone silent as he started scribbling on it. After he was done, he let go of my backpack. I thought I was free to go but I still felt his eyes trailing on me.

Then he grabbed me by the collar. "Wash that off, you're dead." He bellowed as he shoved me onto the ground.

Then he saw Jake and proceeded to greet him before following him down the hall to their next class.

_Wow. They're actually super early today. Last week, Jake showed up about 5 minutes before the class ended._

I decide to not follow them to our class since it was 15 minutes before class started. I'm not gonna wait in solitude in a room full of kids who do nothing but throw paper airplanes at nobody in particular for an hour and 15 minutes.

I look around the bustling hallway full of high schoolers and middle schoolers of all kinds. And that's when I craned my neck slightly to the right and saw a plain yellow poster on one of the badly placed pillars of the hallway.

I walk over to it and made sure no one was watching me. As I scoot over to the poster, it read:

**"Sign up now! The after school play of Shakespeare's famous 'A Midsummer's Night ** **Dream'** ** will surely fill up your thespian needs!"**

It had a bunch of tacky emojis at the bottom of it so I wasn't sure if I should sign up or not.

_No. A sign up sheet for the after school play is nothing but trouble. People would think I was gay. Which they wouldn't be half wrong if they guessed that since I am bisexual. But that's not the point. I'd get bullied even more if I signed up._

I turned my nose away from the sign up sheet, hoping nobody saw me interact with it and further associating me with the theater club. Not that I hate theater. I'm actually quite fond of it.

Then I heard a familiar footstep follow after me. I turn around and it's the one and only, Christine Canigula.

As soon as I turned to look at her, she seemed to be eyeing me as she dramatically slips on her foot and falls down. She picks herself up and puts some lip balm whilst fixing herself.

A familiar tune played repeatedly as I sung her name in my head.

_Christine~_

_Christine~~_

Her name was so cute. It fit her oh so perfectly. The little, short-haired Asian called Christine Canigula.

_Christine _ _Canigula_ _~~_

"Christine~" I sung out loud.

It wasn't long before the girl heard her name and turned around.

"Excuse me?" She started.

"Y-yeah?" I feared for my life as I decide not to turn to look at her since I'd be labelled as "the guy who randomly said her name and runs away after that".

"I think someone wrote 'boyf' on your backpack..?" She stated, unsure if I was aware of it.

"U-um.." I stuttered before I ran out of the hallway and into my next class.

_Wow! Totally smooth! Very smooth, Jeremiah! You just made yourself look like an idiot in front of the girl you're going after!_

I scolded myself as I held back a few tears and sat behind Jake who was busy laughing at something with Rich.

_No time to wallow about it. Just remember that you, Jeremiah _ _Heere_ _, are one of those guys who'll die a virgin _ _cuz_ _ he's such a loser!_

I put my head on my desk as I buried my face into my arms. I didn't care if the desk suspiciously smelled of chewed gum and peanut butter, I just want to forget that the interaction with Christine this morning never happened.

_Seriously, I don't want to be a hero. I just want some skills to count on._ _ But I guess the world hates me too much to give me that!_

I groaned as I bring my head to look at Jake who had his back turned on me. I begin craning my neck to see if Michael had arrived to class yet.

I mean, he skips class all the time so it wouldn't be a surprise if he didn't show up today. Especially during the period before lunch since he has to leave school to buy his food. It's a small price to pay for not eating the disgusting abominations our cafeteria lunch ladies come up with.

I fixed my lopsided glasses and try to take a better look. I find Michael in his usual place.

He was in the front row's second column. He was too busy scribbling something on a page and listening to most likely Bob Marley or Whitney Houston songs to really care about the 7 kids throwing badly made paper airplanes at each other behind him. Which I applaud him for since even Mr. Reyes leaves class because of these obnoxious kids. And that guy leaves every five minutes to heat up another hot pocket!

I swear, if Michael was put in the middle of no man's land in a war, he wouldn't notice the fight happening if he had his headphones on and a sketchbook.

I smile to myself as I take out a notebook from my bag and begin my history homework due this afternoon. That's when Ms. Norbury finally came into class and started teaching trigonometry. Which, to be honest, is totally useless unless you want to become a mathematician.

And though I am a sore loser when it comes to romance, I still don't want to spend time on memorizing trigonometry. So maybe becoming a mathematician would be the lowest point in a person's life.

I bring my mind of off trigonometry and focus on the history homework. Seriously, who the hell would willingly want to learn about founding fathers?

Unless we're told to memorize the entire Hamilton soundtrack, I'm out. Like, I love Christopher Jackson with all my soul but I honestly don't care how many kids George Washington had.

I finish my history homework 5 minutes before the last period ended. By the time I realized that it was the end of science class, Michael wasn't in his seat anymore and surprisingly, none of the teachers called my name for oral recitation this morning. Or maybe they did and I was too busy finishing the 2-page essay on the founding fathers.

As if on cue, the school bell chimed right after I closed my history notebook.

"Okay, class dismissed." Mr. Seabury, our science teacher announced as he walked out of the classroom. I swear, I love the guy since he's so passionate about science. But it's kind of ironic since he's probably the most religious teacher at our school.

If America was a monarchy, he'd gladly believe that the president or Queen or whatever was actually a descendant from God or something.

My thoughts were cut short as the loud chattering of the students in the room erupted from the classroom as the students stood up from their places and left the classroom, leaving me to grab my backpack and leaving the classroom alone.

I go into the cafeteria and try to go near the nicest looking lunch lady and hope that they don't give me a plate full of wasteland sludge.

_Oh! Miss _ _Elphaba's_ _ here today! She isn't sick anymore!_

My thoughts raced as I lined up and slipped in front of Miss Elphaba hoping that she would give me at least a ham sandwich and an apple.

"Oh, Mr. Heere! What would you like to eat today?" She greeted me. Miss Elphaba was one of the nicest lunch ladies here. She's second to none other than Miss Dunstock, who was unfortunately absent for a few weeks since she fell off a bridge. I hope she's okay. I liked her.

Not in a _like-like_ way since that would be weird. But in a platonic appreciative way.

"You can call me Jeremy, Miss Elphaba. And could I have a ham sandwich and an apple please? I'm not really feeling it for some...uh..." I stare at the display counter. What _is_ that? It looks like some weird alien material made so that whoever eats it starts singing like we're in a musical or something. "Alien sludge today..."

Miss Elphaba chuckled for a bit before whipping out a ham sandwich and an apple from under the counter like magic. "Here you go, Jeremy. Hope you enjoy your lunch!"

"Thanks, Miss Elpheba!" I bid her goodbye before leaving.

"Ugh, finally." The girl behind me groaned. _Oh_. It was Principal McNamara's kid. Seriously, we're those two even related? She acts the complete opposite of the principal! Guess she got all the bad genes.

I hold myself back from giving her the stink eye as I try to look for Michael in the sea of students either eating the alien sludge, chatting, or putting ham on each other's faces.

_Was that Damien and Janis??_

I thought as the two guys I mentioned ran past me into the girls' bathroom beside the cafeteria.

_How was Damien not stopped?? Yeah, he's gay, but he's still a boy!_

I think for a moment before reminding myself what I was originally doing. I finally find Michael in the far right table eating sushi.

"Michael!" I called out to him as he turned his head to look at me.

"Jeremy, my buddy! How's it hanging?" He started singing a tune. "Lunch is bangin'! Got my sushi and my slushie and more!"

Was this kid listening to Bob Marley again? Gosh, I love him.

Again, like Miss Dunstock, not in a _like-like_ way since that would be weird!

"The roll was negimaki and I'm feeling kind of cocky, cuz the girl at Sev' Elev' gave me a generous pour!" He continued singing, as he continued to bop to the tunes playing into his ears.

"Are you listening to Bob Marley again?" I raised my voice slightly so that he could hear me better.

"I'm listening to Marley, and the groove is hella gnarly. And we're almost at the end of the song!" He put his finger up so I couldn't interrupt his little jam. "And that was the end, now tell me friend. How was class? You look like ass. What's wrong?" He pat the seat next to me indicating that he wanted me to sit beside him.

I sat down and showed him my backpack. "Look at this! Boyf. Like, what does it even mean??" I asked in frustration as I place the tray of food beside my backpack.

"Wait a minute." He pulled his backpack up to reveal that his said 'riends'. Together, the backpacks read 'boyfriends'.

_Wow. Very creative, Rich._

"Ugh, I hate this school." I groaned as I eat my ham sandwich. I mean, if my bisexual ass could have anyone as a boyfriend, I guess Michael would be the first choice? I mean, we've been best friends for 12 years!

But no! I don't like him like _that_. That'd be weird.

"My mothers would be thrilled!" Michael chuckled as he proceeded to take a selfish with the two backpacks.

"Oh! By the way, remember Christine?" I perk my head up, remembering something.

"Yes, oh, the beautiful and amazing girl, Christine Canigula's. You don't stop talking about her. Especially how she's in the drama club, how she plays with her hair when she's nervous, how amazing she acts in the drama club, how passionate she is when acting, how her favorite cereal is fruit loops, how mesmerizing it is to see her perform on stage! What about her?" Michael rambled on in a playful manner about how I never stop talking about Christine.

_Was he mad? Maybe I have to stop talking about Christine every time she pops into my head. Even I think I'm getting stupidly repetitive with her._

"Yeah, well. I wrote her a letter telling her how I feel!" I announced happily as I finish the last of my sandwich and proceeded to grab the apple.

"That's progress!" Michael said happily. I love this supportive dork.

"Yeah well..." A feeling of dread filled my stomach. "I tore it up by flushed it right after."

"Oh..." His voice dropped to a low tone as it trailed off, disappointed.

"I-it's still progress!" I retorted, flushing in embarrassment. I hope nobody heard me. Especially Jenna Rolan. I'd never hear the end of it! I can see the twitter posts already:

_'Jeremiah_ _Heere_ _ tried to confess to Christine _ _Canigula_ _ but flushed his letter down the toilet!'_

_'Haha_ _, what a _ _loser.'_

_'Does_ _ anyone feel bad for the letter?'_

_'We need to save the planet! Stop wasting paper, you jerk!'_

"Yeah, well. No need to fret, Jere! I saw on Discovery that humanity has stopped evolving!" Michael piped up as stars lit his eyes.

"That's... good?" I replied, not sure of the relevance this had to our previous topic. But I don't want to salt on his parade or whatever the term was.

"Yeah well, evolution is survival of the fittest, right? But now, because of technology, you don't have to be strong to survive!" He continued with such passion. I highly doubt that he wasn't high when he watched this documentary but like, hearing this dork ramble left a happy feeling in me. "Which means there's never been a better time in history to be a loser!!" He laughed his weirdly dorky but adorable laugh as he patted my back aggressively which made me hack out a few coughs before him apologizing after.

"So own it!! Why try to be cool when you can be--" I cut him off.

I looked over to the after school play sign-up sheet that was put up in the cafeteria. I felt as if I had fallen into a trance yet again.

"Signing up for the play?" I spluttered out unconsciously.

"I was gonna say getting stoned in my basement, but sure. Whatever butters your muffin, Jere." Michael concluded as he took a long sip from his cherry slushie.

"No, I mean. Look who's signing up for the play!!" I turn his head to the direction of the sign up sheet.

"Oh. OH!" He finally caught on.

"Christine~" He sung along to the tune that I often associated with Christine. I sung it so often near Michael that he managed to memorize the tune.

"Christine~" I begin to realize that Michael could fit right into the school choir. His voice is just so amazing! Like, I swear, if you put him in the X Factor, he'll probably win it.

A blush crept onto my face as I hear his take on singing Christine's name. Was it because of his voice? Probably not. Was it because he was singing the name of my 7th grade crush and my crush was just so amazing? Definitely.

Okay, it may be a mix of both.

"Christine~"

"Christine Canigula~"

After a few more tunes, I imagine hearts around her as she finishes writing her name on the sheet, I begin appreciating her small, cursive handwriting. She seems to write 't' separate from the other letters and she'd put a square instead of a dot on her 'i's. Then an immensely sad javelin shoves itself through my stomach.

_She wasn't looking at me this morning in the hallway. She was looking at the _ _sign-up_ _ sheet! I'm such an idiot for thinking she was looking at me! I'm a loser. The only one's who actually look me in the eye with no ill intent is Michael and Dad._

Then I felt a light shove on my left side. It was Michael. Did he want me to go after her?

Well, I _could_ sign up for the after school play too. It's not like I hate plays or anything. In fact, I quite enjoy plays and musicals. Not that I'd ever join one since I'm bad at speaking in front of a crowd. How much more with acting and memorizing lines?

Before I could register what was actually happening, I had already written down my name on the sign-up sheet.

Like the little annoying piece of crap he is, Rich saw me doing this and immediately pointed at me screaming, "GAY!! Haha haha!" He finished by laughing at me with his clique full of the popular kids like Jake.

I desperately wanted to scream, _'I'm not gay! I'm __bi__, you idiots!'_ but Rich would probably shove me into a locker if I did. Like those varsity jocks during my freshman year. I was so naive back then to say hi to every single person I met in school.

The varsity jocks shoved me into a locker but then they realized I was too tall and lanky to fit inside it so they just gave up half way and I had already curled up in a ball in my locker so I had to wait for Michael to free me.

_Why was I such a loser?_

I try not to cry since Michael was looking my way.

"Let's head back to class now." I murmured before leaving the cafeteria. "And you can have the apple." I try to hold back tears as I throw to Michael my apple.

I know he loves apples. Besides, I lost my appetite already...

_Don't worry, Jeremy. All you need to do is pass tests and you'll survive high school!_

I try I be positive.

_Why can't someone teach me how to do more than survive?_


	2. I Love Play Rehearsal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I met Michael in front of the drama club (which was also conveniently the theater room) and I reached for the door's handle before chickening out and pulling my hand back.
> 
> "I-i guess survival's not for everybody..." I stuttered out, disappointed in myself.
> 
> "You don't have to do this, Jeremy." Michael patted my back in a reassuring manner. "But I'll mock you forever if you don't." Michael added before opening the door for me and shoving me inside playfully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second chapter! I wrote it around the same time as the first one so they've got pretty much the same writing patterns and feel of the story. Unfortunately, I don't think I'll be able to say the same for the third chapter as I've changed much of my writing style over the course of the 4 months this story had been lying in my drafts folder. 
> 
> But I hope I'll still manage to have a coherent story in the end. Anyways, if yuo find any factual or grammatical errors, feel free to correct me in the comments below! And lastly, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

I finished all my afternoon classes uneventfully. Eventually, it was time to go to the after school play. There really aren't any auditions since there were just enough kids who signed up for each character.

_I wish I could be Puck. I mean, I screw everything up just like him so maybe I'd be a perfect fit for his character?_

The dismissal bell rang out and all my thoughts were cut short as everyone left the room in a rush. The last column of people were left to clean so I ran out before one of those guys could scold me for being too slow or something.

•••

I met Michael in front of the drama club (which was also conveniently the theater room) and I reached for the door's handle before chickening out and pulling my hand back.

"I-i guess survival's not for everybody..." I stuttered out, disappointed in myself.

"You don't have to do this, Jeremy." Michael patted my back in a reassuring manner. "But I'll mock you forever if you don't." Michael added before opening the door for me and shoving me inside playfully.

"H-hey Michael! Wait! Don't leave me inside! I'd be alone with Christine!" I pleaded as I held the door open.

"That's the point, dude." Michael laughed as he proceeded to force the door to close.

"Wait! Just...like, join the after school play with me! I can't do this alone!" I begged one last time. 

"Fine, fine. I'll join. But I didn't write my name on a sign up sheet so Mr. Reyes is gonna throw a fit." Michael groaned as he opened the door and entered the club room.

•••

In the front row of the theater, Christine was there, patiently waiting for the other actors and Mr. Reyes to arrive.

"Uh...hey! Uh....is this where you meet for the play..?" I greeted Christine awkwardly. She didn't really know me aside from that backpack incident this morning, but I hoped that she forgot that ever happened.

"No, this is where you meet for the swim team." Christine joked, sarcasm strong in her voice. "I'm joking." She says after a few moments of awkward silence.

Since I'm as dense as a walrus who doesn't know how to swim, I barely manage to get the joke and when I did, I made things worse.

"Oh...OH! Well, er, _I'm_ Jeremy!" Yes, I made a dad joke as a comeback. Cliche, but my uncreative mind isn't helping me get better.

"And this is Michael." I introduced Michael to Christine too. "He hasn't really signed up for the school play but he wants to join it so here he is!"

"Actually, I was forced to do thi--" He was about to make a witty joke but he was cut off by the sounds of bustling teens coming in the room.

The rest of the cast had arrived along with Mr. Reyes. _Oh_. They were Jenna Rolan, Brooke Lohst, Chloe Valentine, Richard Goranski and Jake Dillinger.

I prepared for the worst as they sit on the row above us while making comments like,

"I didn't know there was a drama club here."  
Or  
"Why did Jake have to dare us to do this."

_Oh. So they didn't join on their own accord. They were forced to do it. Kind of like Michael but I didn't dare him to do anything. He just kind of agreed to my pleas. _  
I try to justify myself dragging Michael into this.

Mr. Reyes explained for a bit about how we would do the Shakespeare play A Midsummer's Night Dream. _Which was on the sign-up sheet. _And since most funds would go to the frisbee-golf club, we'd have to make changes to the story so it'd fit the budget and so we settled on a modern zombie apocalypse version of the play.

Then Christine stood up in protest. "B-but don't you care about Shakespeare?"

Mr. Reyes pulled her into a hug before saying, "The man is dead, let it go."

_Wow. How insensitive._

It irked me that we had to make these sorts of changes to it too. I mean, we've basically just watered down the plot along with giving it a cliche, modern makeover that botched the entire story.

"It hurts me too, bro." Michael patted my shoulder, trying to look like he's crying.

"Haha, dork. Bet you can't even name more than 2 Shakespeare plays." I playfully punch his side in response.

"Actually, I can. I just choose not to do it." He laughed. I wasn't sure if he was joking or not since I have no actual idea if this guy even likes theater since I basically dragged him into the after school play. And yes, I do claim to be his best friend of 12 years.

"We will now take a five minute break, so that I can eat a hot pocket. Bye kids." Mr. Reyes announced before leaving the club room.

"I swear, if you cut open Mr. Reyes, all that would come out would be hot pocket sauce. That man probably isn't even human anymore. Like, who eats 7 hot pockets a day? That's definitely not normal." Michael whispered to me.

I chuckled, smiling in amusement at his little joke before saying playfully, "Lower your voice or he'll kick you out."

"Also, just a tip but I think you should try talking to her." Michael pointed at Christine.

_Was he really trying to be a wingman here? I mean, I can use all the help I can get but Michael clearly doesn't have a better idea than I do._

I felt a warm fuzzy feeling as I saw her. Her adorable short hair, her cute shirt with a flower on it, the jacket filled with pins of all kind over it. But now, instead of the usual happy-go-lucky smile on her face, it was replaced with a small frown as she stared into a Shakespeare script.

_I know it's Shakespeare cuz I'm a nerd--_

"Um... Are you okay? Do you feel bummed out about the changes? D-don't worry, I do too." I started, scratching my neck. Ah, the wonders of forced habits.

"Y-you do too? That feels like a relief. Everyone else here doesn't seem to know or care about the original play. B-but I guess if it has us still do something remotely play-like, I'm up for it." Christine piped up, a smile creeping up her face once more. "Jeremy, was it? I like you. You seem like a cool dude! I hope we'll be the best of friends in the future!"

That response was really all I needed. It felt so awesome to be appreciated like this, especially by the girl I'm after! I had a voice at the back of my head screaming,_ Christine's probably a jerk. Don't go after her._

But after that interaction, I was wiped of my worries! She's an amazing, kind, passionate girl who's quirky demeanor would make anyone enjoy her company!

I turn to Michael with a smile and probably a flushed face, but I didn't care. I absolutely enjoyed every second of that interaction. It's like the morning never even happened!

He shot me a thumbs up with a smile as a sort of 'congratulations, bro'.

"D-did you see that? Christine talked to me!" I whispered, trying not to make Christine hear me.

"That's way more progress than flushing down a confession letter into a toilet!" Michael replied. Was he being sarcastic? I..I can't tell to be honest. "But no seriously, you're doing great, Jere."

As Michael looked away, I noticed a nervous glint in his eyes. I've also noticed that he only does that when he's either sad or nervous. Why would he be sad? Or nervous? Was it because I dragged him into the play against his will?

_Oh no. I'm such a bad friend. I shouldn't have dragged him into this. He's gonna hate me. Oh no. _ _ **Oh no** _ _._ _ _ _ **Oh no** _ _._

"I'm s-sorry for dragging you into this." I struggled with the apology. I really hope he doesn't hate me after this. I have no other friends.

_He's my best friend. He wouldn't, right? But _ _ **are** _ _ we even best friends? What if he doesn't see me as one anymore? We've only talked twice this week._

Michael stared at me like I was crazy. "Are you okay, Jere? I'm fine with being in the play." He answered with a calm smile as he patted my back. "_...as long as it makes you happy, bro._" He added but it was quieter than the rest of his response.

"What?" I asked, wanting to fully hear what he said. Like, I heard it but I'm not sure if that's what he actually said. Now that I think about it, that was quite creepy out of context. But it made me feel happy that he did this just because of me. God, I love this dork.

"Er, I'm fine with being in the play??" He looked at me weirdly. "Is that what you mean?"

Was I imagining things? Did I really turn out schizophrenic like that weird thought I had when I was high?

"Oh...oh...yeah. I really thought you'd hate me or something cuz I dragged you into this..." I tried to make up an excuse for asking him to repeat what he said. I tried to look genuinely confused and surprised to convince him. Maybe being a theater kid would pay off? But I look back to him and I realize that he isn't fully buying it.

"Bro, we've been best friends for over a decade! You really think I'd hate you for something as minuscule as dragging me into a school play? Hell, you've done worse. Like tripping on one of my consoles and knocking over one of Mom's pictures of her and Mama...." He dragged on. Man, his habit really is tiresome after some time. But I still seem to enjoy hearing him ramble on.

•••

The rest of the meeting was uneventful. Aside from Jake talking to Christine. That really caught my eye. I tried not to stare and as a distraction, began a light conversation with Michael. But it didn't work. I would always try to catch a glance from their side of the theater.

When they finally left the drama clubroom, I told Michael I had to go to the bathroom and that he didn't have to wait for me.

"And please don't make a Hadestown reference. I'm gonna gouge my eyes out if I hear another one." I shot him a glare before running to the bathroom beside the clubroom.

I went over to one of the sinks in the bathroom and started trying to wash off the sharpie that Rich scribbled onto my backpack earlier. I started scrubbing my bag as best I could. Dammit. Why did Rich use a sharpie? Was he _that_ sadistic?

And as if the world wasn't done with me today, Rich entered the comfort room.

"Hey. Didn't I tell you not to wash that off?" He hissed as he went over to one of the toilets.

"I-im looking for my homework." I lied as I gave up and went into one of the stalls to actually pee.

"Stalls are of girls, Jeremy! Are you a girl?" Rich mocked.

"Why do you call me that? I'm not even that tall." I squeaked as I decided to leave the stall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've reached the end of this chapter! Yay! Comments and kudos are appreciated but not obligatory. The third chapter may come a bit later as I'm still halfway done with it. Hope that'll be okay! Anyways, til next time!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Kudos and comments are not obligatory but they're appreciated!


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